Mike Tyson vs. Jake Paul, heavyweight, eight rounds

Round 8: Paul jabs Tyson into another solar system. Tyson can’t dodge. The reality of age settling in as the fight ends. Paul shows Tyson respect by bowing to him in the final seconds of the fight. We now go to Father Time for comment who says: I’m still unbeaten. Paul 73, Tyson 68

Round 7: The question is: Why isn’t Paul taking advantage of Tyson’s sluggishness? Who knows. The broadcast crew expresses something you have rarely heard for Tyson: sympathy. They feel sorry for Tyson. Tyson breathing heavily. Paul 63, Tyson 59

Round 6: Roy Jones Jr. says: “I think that’s all we’re going to see from Mike.” That feeling is strong. Tyson looks plodding and slow. The boos come again, except louder. Let’s just be clear about this. This fight is boring as hell. Paul 53, Tyson 50

Round 5: Paul targets Tyson’s chin. He isn’t hitting it but it seems only a matter of time. However, Paul keeps his hands low, something that used to be a mortal sin back in the day. Way back in the day. Pleistocene era. Paul 43, Tyson 41

Round 4: Paul is extremely active. He looks comfortable, like this is a sparring match. Tyson takes a body shot. Paul left hook lands. Not much action otherwise. Small cascade of boos rings across the stadium. Paul 33, Tyson 32

Round 3: Tyson gets hit and starts to take some bad shots. He stumbles after a Paul shot. He looks out of it. His age clearly starts to show. He’s in big trouble. Paul looks so much faster, the difference between a starship and a shuttlecraft. Paul 25, Tyson 24

Round 2: The fighters hold in the center. Still doing some measuring. Analyst Roy Jones Jr. says he “doesn’t like Tyson’s legs.” Not sure what that means though Tyson is wearing a brace on his right knee. More measuring and patience. No fighter steps up. Compared to some other fights on the night, this one is boring so far. Tyson 17, Paul 16

Round 1: Tyson went to the center of the ring fast. Just like in the olden days. When dinosaurs ruled the planet. He lands an overhand right. Paul makes Tyson chase him around the ring. Smart move. Trying to wear out the 58-year-old fighter. Paul lands a right. Tyson throws a low shot. Tyson catches a hard right. We’re off. Tyson 9, Paul 8

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